I Just Wanna Pee

Regular readers know that I have kidney failure and am a 3rd year dialysis patient.

I've said it before, but after doing dialysis so long, you kinda stop peeing. I mean, your blood is getting cleaned 3 times a week and however your bladder and kidneys work together, once the kidneys stop working, your bladder does too.

Your body still produces waste, but not urine. It was kinda funny, the last time I went to the ER, they wanted a urine speciman and I could only give them literally ONE drop.

The only problem is that you still feel the pressure you feel when you have to pee, but it just doesn't come.

Actually, it comes and goes for me, but never more than a tablespoon (that's an estimate, LOL).

This morning it just wouldn't come.

That might be cool when traveling and such, but when your body is saying "I have to pee" and your bladder is singing "I'll keep holding onnnn", there's confliction. (is that a word?)

At 5 am, I was willing my body to release and it just wouldn't. So I'd get back in bed and think I've got to go. I went back and forth for almost an hour before I fell asleep again.

I found myself hoping as I drifted off, that I would have the pee dream...you know, the one where you're dreaming you're running to the bathroom and you have to go BAAAAAD and finally make it to the toilet and you plop down and "Ahhhhhhh, relief!" but you wake up and find that you peed a lil bit (or maybe a lotta bit)?

You just don't appreciate simple luxuries until they aren't there.

Man, I just wanna pee...