Looking back, I realize that the one I considered my first love, really was simply the first one I loved. He said he loved me, but his actions proved otherwise.
I mean he proposed, then cheated. He came back and then married someone else. Does that sound like love to you? Me neither.
Seems it was what I once considered my second love that was really my first.
Perhaps I'd have realized that sooner had our lines of communication been better. I was 17 and he 21. My 17 year old mind was about the moment and his 21 year old mind was thinking about the future.
He was trying to be a provider and being that I had parents already, I don't know if I saw him as trying to control me or what. Honestly I can't remember, but looking back, I could see that he wanted to "do" for me and I wasn't really accepting it because of my fierce independence. I didn't realize it then, but that's how he showed me he loved me.
I know that as much as a 17 year old could really know about love, I loved him too.
Still have a place in my heart for him.
No comments:
Post a Comment