An odd question popped into my head the other day. I wondered to myself, how can I be a people person when there are not a whole lot of people I can tolerate all the time?
I mean I used to really be a people-person and either people changed, I changed or I really used to base my "like" on surface personality.
I feel I have more insight than I used to. I pay attention to my "gut feeling" about a person more now. I can meet someone and generally think ok, they're cool, but as I get to know them, their idiosyncrasies work my nerves.
For example, one person I thought I could forge a friendship with was mad cool at first, but then suddenly one day I realized how very needy she was. I mean if she was talking and I was doing anything other than looking her in the face, she would stop until I could look her in the face again. Now mind you, all the while I was responding and conversing, but that wasn't good enough. Then when I had something to say, as I spoke, she would interrupt and somehow wrangle the conversation to focus on her. That friendship didn't last long. As I sat back and analyzed as she went from one relationship to another (like a bee from flower to flower) I realized her issues have nothing to do with me.
Another woman I don't know very well, but I'm forced to deal with daily has shown her true colors quickly. It has been a couple of months and I just don't like her. I've tried. She can be pleasant enough. She's very nosey and she gives an air like she's better than others (in all fairness, she did warn me that she was different. Ok basically she said she was better than some folks close to her. If she has questions, when I answer, her response is either an almost smart remark or criticism. I mean if she knew what she was doing, why ask? Not only that, she isn't above telling her own business, so I KNOW she'd re-tell mine. I'd heard before I really met her that she was this way, but I like to give people a chance and form my own opinion. Yeah, she can go on somewhere.
When I dislike someone, I limit my speaking to them and don't normally say more than I have to. For whatever reason, this leaves people confused. Why would I engage in frequent conversation with someone I don't care for? I suspect she's doing other than what she's supposed to anyway and I want no parts of it.
I also don't like being around people who whine or talk about other people. I mean there are probably one or two people on this earth that I can say whatever I'm thinking about whatever is going on and they won't judge me or talk about it to anyone else. I appreciate that. I appreciate them. I'm not saying that I don't like anyone else, there just aren't a lot of people that I could hang out with every day. In fact there are some people I really like that I enjoy doing things with. Just periodically.
Perhaps what I go through with dialysis make me an impatient person but I really think some people are just annoying.
Yes, I can be grouchy, I admit it. People have made me this way though.
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