7~ Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain

I have been in love a couple of times, but deeply in love? Maybe for what I knew about love at the time. Perhaps love as a noun, but love as a verb? That's pretty new to me. I think the difference is that I was in deep like with myself for such a long time, that I didn't really know how to love me. If I didn't know how to love me, how could I love someone else? I'm still learning about love. Maybe we always learn about it, I don't know. What I know about love now though, makes me question love in the past. Well, maybe not, but it definitely makes me say "what I knew about love at the time"... Say what you will about Lil Wayne, but this song is truth... Lil Wayne - How To Love (OFFICIAL VIDEO) by vjarmanisuits

A-Z: R

I thought I would write about my Dad tonight because his nickname was Ricky, but this post is going to be on one "R". Dana Giddens Robinson.

My friend Dana isn't doing too well tonight and I'd appreciate your prayers.

I met Dana in person, for the first time, some time in May 2010. I snuck out east for a weekend and didn't tell many people. We went to see our friend Nae (R.I.P.) perform with her band and Dana was there. We'd run in the same online circles for a bit, but we'd never really talked a lot. This night, we spoke and hugged like we'd been friends forever. The first thing you see when looking at Dana is her beautiful smile. One of those smiles that make you feel like everything is alright.


Each time after that, I'd feel the exact same way.


I'm not sure how long Dana has fought metastatic breast cancer, but I know at one point it was gone and in December 2008 it she told us it came back.


For as long as I've known Dana, she has not given in to the disease. She just gets up every day and fights back. Dana inspires me in my fight against kidney disease.


Dana has traveled, enjoyed her family, enjoyed her friends and been an advocate for breast cancer all with a smile. From what I hear, even in the hospital and so very tired, the Black Butterfly still had a smile for her visitors.


As I lay my head down for the night, Dana will be in my thoughts and prayers. Although I want to be selfish and see my friend again, I have learned that when God is ready for them, all I can do is accept it.


So whether I see you here or in heaven, we will see each other again Miss Lady!


Love you!


Spread your wings and fly

A-Z: Q

I like the letter Q too, because it's curly. I decided that I would learn some new things today and teach you too, so I chose several Q words from Urbandictionary.com. I will look them up as I go.

There will probably not be many pics today. Be afraid, very afraid.

Qelsin-Key in Albanian. That's not so bad.

Bob: Ma jep qelsin.
Bryce: Urdheno.

Translation:
Bob: Give me the key.
Bryce: Here you go.

Qenis-a humorous word used in place of the word "penis"

guy one: hey bro, did you hear about Scott?
guy two: no man, what happened?
guy one: dude likes qenis

Qbert-1. Retro game, which has now been released in 3D version.
I'm off for a game of Q*Bert

A legendary turntablist, a DJ. AKA DJ Qbert.

Hot damn, Qbert is tearing up those turntables.

A very great Dj that influences the underground with his creative scratching.

damn, that Dj makes my day.

Enough has been said. Listen to DJ Q*Bert and buy Wavetwisters.



Eh...I only posted one part because the whole thing is about 45 minutes.

Ok, no pics here, keep it moving! LOL

Queef-1. an expulsion of wind from the vulva during coitus; a vaginal fart.

Rumor has it that Thea can queef the alphabet.

2. queef (kweef) n.
the expulsion of air from a vagina after sexual intercourse, usually very fast-paced or deep intercourse, and most often resulting after the "doggy style" position, or variants of said position. queefs are known to have a "wet" sound, and can occur during intercourse, or after. queefs occur when an object, usually a penis, creates a vacuum of air inside the vagina, usually because of a certain angle or position, or because of use of a condom, and happen when the penis or object is removed or pushed deeper into the vagina. many think of queefs as a "sex interrupter" because females are usually embarrassed and males usually embarrassed or amused as the very unique and recognizable sound of a queef.

julia coughed loudly to drown out her queef as brian pulled out.

Qazzar-someone who likes grinding to legs on chairs

Yes, that boy is qazzar, look at him grinding against that chair..

Uh yeah, I'm done.

Long weekend ahead, so I'll see ya on Monday!

A-Z: P

People-There are very few people that I hold in high regard, mostly because people as a general, have not proven to me that they will do for me, protect my heart and look out for me like I will them...those that do, I'd go to the ends of the earth for them and they know I love them very much.

Personalities-My personality goes back and forth. I can be outgoing and super-friendly and other times I can be very introverted. I've changed a lot in the past year. People who were close to me tossed me under the bus, so to speak. I mean people that were in that high regard section. That has caused me to re-evaluate the majority of my friendship/relationships and I've discovered people in my camp that I really don't know why they're there. I think they're attention whores, questionable personalities and not really sure why I keep them.

I guess until I find a good reason to cut them completely or reignite the fire of our friendship, our friendship will remain dormant. *shrug*

Pandora-I really stopped listening to Pandora for awhile because I'd rather listen to Urbansoulz podcasts at http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/show/urban_soulz_radio and Baby Bling podcasts at http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/show/the_the_baby_bling_show, but on days that I don't get good reception for whatever reason, I do get better reception on Pandora and my favorite channels are the Kindred The Family Soul Channel and the Martha Munizzi/Donnie McClurkin Channel.

Pure Soul-a girl group of the 90's that I LOVED. I hate they didn't do much, but whenever I do get married, their song We Must Be In Love WILL be played at some point.

A-Z: O

There aren't many O's that interest me, Oprah being one of them. I was a big Op-ee-rah fan in the early years. I even remember being in college and watching an episode on cheating and realizing to my dismay that the very woman going off about her no good husband, was from my city!

I love how Oprah gives to those less fortunate. Oh how I long to be able to do that! I'm going to one day! I'm a big fan of paying it forward and love to pay for the person behind me in a drive through or do something for someone just because.

What made me not a complete Oprah fan is how she has mislead people by making them think that there are other ways to get to God than through Jesus. She lost me there. I'm a Christian and I was offended by that. We all believe what we believe and to me, saying that after stating that you're a Christian is misleading. She's Oprah though right? She can say whatever she likes and it's going to be accepted. Hmph

The Obama's...America's first African American First Family. Why has this caused people to lose their natural minds? I swear some days they're trying to go back to the days of Jim Crow. I just don't understand why folks are up in arms about a black president. Underneath the skin, we're all the same. He's not a perfect man, none of us are. He has and will make mistakes. What people need to remember is that most likely, what happens in the first 4 years of a presidency is usually the undoing of the last. Remember that.

As far as the first family goes, I love em. I love that they represent something that people think don't exist. A happy black family. Parents that are in love, and educated and children who are just that, children. They read books, play basketball, make their beds and do their laundry. Go first family!

And then there's that...

For some it's elusive. Others can't get enough and yet others must go to extremes to get it. I vaguely remember it and look forward to the man in my future who brings it back!

A-Z: N

I hope that you had a Happy Easter and were able to spend it with as many of your loved ones as you could.

The letter N is the first letter of my last name and I love to write it.

I like the N at the top because it reminds me of Nickelodeon. I'm not sure how long Nickelodeon has been in existence, but I used to truly love Nick at Night when they played all the classic shows from the 60's. Patty Duke, Father Knows Best, Dobie Gillis, etc. I liked those shows because they showed me that people hadn't always just started out as major stars. They had some "just ok" roles in the beginning.

Same as life. You may not be where you want to be in life, but you can keep working toward that goal. Sometimes you have to take the "just ok" jobs so you can gain experience and understand how other things work. It's never good to only know one way to do things or one way to be. I mean what if something happens and that one way isn't a possibility?

Newton- The last name of one of the actresses that reminds me of my mother when she was younger. Thandie Newton. I like her first name. It's different. I don't know that I'd name my child that, but it's surely unique! (Who else reminds me of my mom you ask? Eartha Kitt in her younger days). Not one more than the other, but I think a mix of the two.

What's really funny is that in the 80's, everyone used to say my mom looked like Jayne Kennedy!

(I still see it)

A few of the places I really would like to visit begin with N. Nassau, New Orleans, New York.

I'm such a sucker for a beach!

Ohhhh, you assumed I meant NYC? Well I would definitely like to go there too, but I want to visit my friend and see the sun rise and set on the Hudson in Peekskill!

There is a lot of history in the city of "Nawlins". Even before Katrina I wanted to go and just never did. I wanted to go down and help clean up after Katrina, but my health didn't allow it. If you have't seen When the Levees Broke and If God is Willing and da Creek Don't Rise are must see's.

I'd definitely love it if anyone wanted to sponsor me! LOL

Wishful thinking...Well, I need to catch a few Z's so I'm not stir crazy at work in a few hours.

Thanks for stopping by!

A-Z: M

I know it's been a few days, but trust me, it's complicated...

M stands for Me...things about me you may or may not know...I love music, large bodies of water (preferably the Caribbean Sea),

(It looks EXACTLY like that)

sunshine, doing special things for people who are special to me, that whatever is going on in my life, I can talk to God about it and know things will be alright. As much as I share about myself here, I really keep some things under lock and key and only share with a rare few. When it comes to my feelings about someone, I'm not so quick to share, my heart has been stomped on too many times. I know, I know, if I don't say anything, I'm cheating myself. If I don't say anything, I'll also still get to share the friendship that I'm sure would change if I did. I'm good, thanks.

Magnum Ice Cream bars-I can't lie, when I first saw the commercial for these, I thought the chick was jumping over cars in the standstill traffic to get condoms. I thought to myself is this real? Then the truck driver handed her this ice cream bar (which really still looks obscene in the commercial) and it piqued my interest (<--note that didn't say peeked?). I finally broke down and bought a box of the mini bars. It was only ok. Really it was too sweet. I shudder to think what the caramel-chocolate ones taste like!

That's all I've got today. Thanks for stopping by.

A-Z: L

I love writing the letter L. I think because it's curly.

I love lillies. Not all kinds...Calla Lillies

I love lotus flowers

I love love..

I chased love for a long time and it never got me anywhere. I finally decided to let love find me and I found that I've already found it. It may not be forever (or maybe it will be). It may not be in the form I thought it would be, but it's a strong love and if it's the only love meant for me, I'm good.

Lil Wayne...Yes, I'm 43 and I listen to Lil Wayne. Judge me, I don't care. Really... this is my most favorite picture of him so far.

I however, despise a liar. I don't see the point in making up something when the truth will truly suffice. A two faced liar is a liar any way you look at it. Check out this ambigram...

A-Z: K

I guess my sleeping pill kicked in before I could post this! LOL

I am at a total loss of what to post today, so I will go to google and type K with each of the vowels (and sometimes y) in the search and see what comes up!

Kayak- Cheap flights, hotels, etc. I have never used this site to search for a trip, so I don't know what to say about it. I doubt I ever go kayaking in my life. I don't think my knees would last, nor would my butt fit. *shrug*

Kelly Rowland-I think Kelly is underrated (as is Solange) because they have been overshadowed by Bouncy, I mean Beyonce. I mean I love them all and I admit that Beyonce is the better performer, but Kelly holds her own and Solange is so unique that if you aren't open, you'll never appreciate her music.

Kindle Fire-I have never touched nor held a Kindle Fire, nor anything similar. Give me my books and magazines!

Kohls-I never used to shop there and then I discovered their shoe department. When I'm looking for shoes other than sneakers, this is where I go. Thanks Kohl's!

Kung Fu Panda-Skidoosh! That is all.

Kyle Korver-Who? *running to google* Oh wow, LOL. He plays for my home state's NBA team, the Bulls. *whispers* I'm SO not a basketball fan anymore. Give me football or give me sitcoms!

I'm gonna be reeeeeal lazy tonight (and try to post before midnight) and give you the link to read yourself. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyle_Korver

A-Z: J

Juxtaposition-The state of being close together or side by side. I just happen to like the word and can’t seem to work it into every day conversation.

Junk-One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. That was very evident at the auction I attended today. Those people bid on ANYTHING!! I mean really, who needs a 30 year old breast pump, a whittled out wooden pinecone the size of a pineapple or what the heck is someone going to do with 2 old doctor’s tables? I guess that takes playing doctor to whole new level! LOL

It’s the same way with people. What one person can’t stand, can make another the happiest of their lifetime.

Justice-I cannot comprehend what the fear is in “and justice for all”. Why such a fight against it? Why is it so necessary for one race to feel superior? I am so not anti-white, please believe that. I am pro-black, but I can be that without tearing other races down…

Joy-In listening to Urbansoulz Inspirations today, I took from the lesson that you can still find unspeakable joy in the midst of trials when you focus on worshipping and praising God.
I know that’s how I am able to function so well in the midst of losing my father and the other message I got was

Just Talk-Talk to your children. Ask them what they want for their futures and when what you hear might not be what you’d like for them, shut up and don’t be a dream killer. There are plenty of those in this world. Be a place of support. Be someone on your child’s side and PRAY for them. Pray for their protection. Pray for them to realize their dreams and pray that you have the best relationship you possibly can. Don’t wait until something happens and you have to pray for help past losing them.

Just Me…

A-Z: I

Insecurities--Everyone has them. The Boris Kodjoe's, the Gabrielle Union's, the Kim Kardashian's, the Paris Hilton's, even the LLCool J's. I think that if you're insecure about something and you can do something about it, do what you can. If it's something physical that you can't do anything about, do your best to accept it and live with it.

What you shouldn't do is let it consume you. Pray. Ask for help accepting it.

Ice-Anyone who knows me knows that I'm addicted to chomping on ice, particularly ice from Sonic!

*SWOON*

Inconsistency-That usually equals lying. I despise a liar and a cheater and they usually go hand in hand.

Ice cream!!!! Yummmmm! I love plain ol vanilla bean, sherbet, hot fudge sundaes, cookie dough ice cream. I think my grandfather influenced that. When I was younger, whenever I went to my grandparent's house, they'd always have one gallon of Prairie Farms (a local brand) ice cream and Hershey's chocolate syrup.

I might enjoy it too much. Once I was driving and eating a large cone from Dairy Queen and the men in the truck next to me missed the light because they were watching me (NORMALLY, I might add) eating my ice cream cone! Pervs!

Improvement-No matter what things appear to be, nothing and no one is absolutely perfect. Once we see that, a lot of people and/or things won't seem so intimidating. Relationships might form a little smoother. Nothing worse than putting someone under pressure because you're telling them they're perfect. Say they're perfect for you, after all, we're all human...

A-Z: H

Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

I try to be a happy person, I really do. I unfortunately am one that takes many things to heart. I have often found myself worrying and taking care of someone who doesn't even care as much for themselves. That over the top caring has come back to bite me in the butt several times.

With friendships,I've been the best friend I know how. There for my friends in every way and many of them, when it came time to be there for me either kinda half patted me on the back then dropped the ball and kept moving or left me completely out of the loop of things where they were concerned. As far as relationships? Well, we won't go there...

Slowly but surely, I'm finding my "happy". It involves much less of other people and more satifaction that God is my Jehovah-Jireh, which is Hebrew for My Provider for everything I need, including my happiness.