Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Saturday in the Park

I'm a big Chicago fan and this is one of their songs that I know the real words to...well some of them.

On a day like today, it should have been a perfect afternoon to spend in the park. NOT. It's approximately 46 degrees and windy.

What the hell is going on? Oh well, can't control it.

The past few weeks, I've been dealing with some internal things. Changed my way of thinking toward some folks and come to the realization that in this world, it really does come down to just being you and God.

It's a hard lesson, but I think sooner or later people go through things and look for the people who they've been there for, to return the favor. If that happens, great for you. In my mind, what happened to me is this: I am walking down an aisle and pleading my case to every person who I considered my support group. While I'm talking, everyone is looking away and avoiding eye contact.

This big ball of light is bouncing right along side of me (God is always there, whether we choose to recognize that or not).

Scattered amongst my "support group" are some random people I know. Some I'd call friends, others just associates. Those friends and associates are looking me dead in my eyes, patting me on the back and handing me phone numbers and saying to call them when I need them.

Well I did call those people and they did help me. That ball of light was constant. What has me all fucked up is that the ones I share DNA with were not part of those. Not a single one.

I admit there was a little bitterness. I'm getting over it though, whatever their reasons were, it's all good. I'm learning that those who were there for you in one part of your life isn't necessarily going to always be there. Just like some friendships have sunsets, so do some family relationships.

Lesson learned.

1 comment:

Da_Kween said...

It's a rough realization to look to your clan for the help you need only to find them shrugging like strangers...but the beauty of it is being able to recognize what you did. That people ARE there who care...and that's all that matters. Soon forgiveness will be complete and you will have accomplished the 2nd phase of this epiphany...that you love them for who they are and are now in charge of choosing your SPIRITUAL family.

~blessings and love~