Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Thursday, March 28, 2013

30 Days of Days: Day 12 - A Day You Wish You Could Do Differently

It was Halloween 2000.  Two of friends from college were visiting and we were sitting outside on my porch late at night.  We'd gone to a couple of parties and were just chilling because it was actually still nice out.

This couple walks past the yard and the guy speaks, stops and strikes up conversation.  I know this conversation was a good 10 minutes.  Then they go on their way, around the corner to the club.

A week later, it's early evening and I'm on the porch again, watching the kids play and he comes over and sits and we talk. Turns out he'd lost his brother earlier that morning.  A drug deal gone bad.

I listened to what he had to say and we ended up moving the conversation into the house because it got chilly. He was drinking and ended up passing out on the couch. I didn't bother waking him up. Me and the kids slept in my room (doors locked).

Well, that evening was the very beginning of the relationship from Hades. It ended nearly 2 years later with an Order of Protection.

Yep, if I could change that night, we'd have been inside instead of on the porch.

Oh and I found out later, that the girl that was with him was his WIFE.  He apparently left her after he met me.  In hindsight he was such a liar though, who knows.  She was better than me.  There would have been no conversation going on.  He was openly flirting.

30 Days of Days: Day 11- A Daydream You Have Often

The one I want to write about, I'm sure folks would try to read way more into it than they have any business doing. Hmmmm, or maybe it's just more than I want to tell...but oh how I love that daydream!

My second most favorite is more recollection than daydream. I'm at the beach in Montego Bay and I'm looking out at the beautiful unrealistically blue water and have a hard time deciding if I want to go sailing or go out on the jet ski.

Jet ski it is. I walk out into the warm, salty water and look out and enjoy this paradise in what seems to be a poverty stricken land from what I've seen.

The resort worker who took me out before is gone and the guy from the daydream I WANTED to write about helps me up on the jet ski. I slip my arms around his waist and pull close as we take off. Slowly at first and then as he sees that the waves aren't bad, we pick up speed. It seems like we are miles out from the shore, but realistically we're probably only 2 out. We don't want to get too far out, should anything happen and the motor stop. LOL Ain't nobody got time for that!

We turn and ride the length of 7 resorts along the coastline. It's 100+ degrees, yet the breeze as we speed along makes the temperature just right.

Just me and my boo... that's what we do. Just chill and enjoy.

30 Days of Days: Day 10-A Day You'd Rather Forget

Wow...I started tearing up just thinking about which days I wanted to write about...

The first day, February 7, 1998. The day my son's father died. I can't got into a whole lot of detail, but I'll say that it was heart-wrenching. He had a heart attack. I performed CPR until paramedics got there. By the time the paramedics got there, all of his sons were there.

He was never revived. Basically he died right in front of our eyes. It hurt for me, but for each child he called son, it was something they never should have had to experience.

Yeah, I'd rather forget that day.

The next day, January 24, 2012. That was the day my father died. He'd been not long before, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 6 months to a year to live. While my mind was trying to wrap around that information, his body was already letting go. I can't remember the exact number of days, but I'm pretty sure it was some time after the 1st that he told me this and he left this earth on the 24th.

3 something in the afternoon. Surrounded by me and my brothers, with my sister on the phone. Crazy thing is that he started slipping away when I was the only one there. I hurried and called my sister so she could say goodbye and by the time he took his last breath, my brothers weren't there.

The nurse kept checking for a pulse and couldn't call it until there was none. It was nearly 10 minutes later that my brothers and sons would make it up to the hospital and it was then that his heart beat no more.

That's another day I'd rather forget.

At the same time however, those are days that I hope I always remember as those were the last day that I spent with my loved ones.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

30 Days of Days: Day 9-The Day You Discovered The Internet

When the internet was starting to gain popularity back in the late 90's, I didn't yet have a computer. I was a single mom with 2 kids and internet was not yet a priority.

I had been sneaking on the world wide web at work, but I couldn't really explore like I wanted to. I was not about to explain what Blackplanet was to my white bosses.

I'm not even sure how the conversation started, but it ended up with the deputy director offering me the use of the office laptop. In hindsight that was probably a dumb move, but at the time, I thought she was really my friend. She said it was only used when the big boss had gone to Slovenia and it was just sitting. To keep it as long as I wanted.

So I grabbed a handful of free AOL disks and so my addiction began. I used to HATE the AOL chat rooms. You would enter, folks would check out your pic and then you'd get flooded with requests and personal messages. I often wonder if I crossed any of my present friends in Black Voices?

I really started making solid friendships via BlackPlanet.

I remember something like 120 free AOL hours and I'd be up til dang near 6 am off into the world wide web...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Bring Muna Home-YOU CAN HELP

Imagine your Ex-husband/wife or the other parent of your child picking them up for court ordered visitation and you never see them again.

That's exactly what happened with Muna N'Diaye, a 5 year-old girl who was illegally abducted to Mali, West Africa, on December 27, 2011.

You can go sign the petition to help bring her home and then you can listen to the interview conducted by DJ Diamond B on the Urban Soulz station on Blogtalk Radio
Listen to internet radio with Urban Soulz on Blog Talk Radio
Please pass this information to as many people as you can!!

Mission For Muna 03/23 by Urban Soulz | Blog Talk Radio#.UU4dEy3BjtM.blogger

Mission For Muna 03/23 by Urban Soulz | Blog Talk Radio#.UU4dEy3BjtM.blogger

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Angry Black Woman Memo: I missed it

I know somebody will be pissed just from reading the title. Oh well...

A FB connection was posting pictures yesterday of women HE describes as beautiful. They are what would be considered plus sized women (I've posted one below).

I thought that both were pretty ladies and I could see the beauty in them although I'm not positive the second one wasn't photoshopped a bit.

A few of the fellas agreed with him (one suggested she needed to work out), but when the women started commenting, the hate started flowing.

I know at least one woman said she admired their confidence (translate: If I looked like that, I would not be posting) and one woman just suggested that some shapewear would have improved her look, but she still was able to compliment her legs.

Every other woman went IN. She's fat. Why would she post that? She needs a few extra reps in the gym. No comment. One even said that the woman was thick, but she looked like she wobbled when she walked.

Why the hate? Why not look and if ya didn't like it, keep moving?

Facebook has given people the impression that their opinions are necessary. I guess they don't realize that it's still ok to keep silent on some subjects.

Now maybe because I'm a plus size woman myself, I don't feel the need to tear someone else apart for their looks alone. I know some women who have what I consider "perfect" shapes that are just as ugly as can be on the inside and women who have no waistline that are just as beautiful as can be. If that's all you base people on, you're pretty shallow and must have some shortcomings that you can't come to grips with about yourself.


Another friend this morning was asking why the sistas were so angry about Tiger Woods' choice in women. It's obvious that he has no interest in black women. So what. His choice. Hell, he can't even claim his own blackness wholeheartedly, so why would it be expected that he'd date one of us?

I'm sure if I search, a lot of women are angry with Michael Jordan's latest choice in women too. Do you think he cares?

It seems to me that some of what they say is true. There are a lot of angry black women these days. I missed the memo. Why are we so angry? Can someone let me in on it?

Monday, March 18, 2013

30 Days of Days: Day 8 - The Day You Realized What You Wanted to Do/Be

Well anyone that knew me in high school knew I was a Home Ec fanatic.  Every type of class that was offered, I took it. Cooking, sewing, parenting, anything that had anything to do with any of those, I was there.

My junior year I took Commercial Foods at the local vocational school because I truly thought I wanted to go into catering.  Well, cooking on a large scale is A LOT different than just cooking dinner.  There are so many rules that have to be followed.  This has to be maintained at such and such degrees.  That can only sit our for x amount of minutes, etc.  Nothing like freestyling it at home. Not to mention that when we catered, we had to make so much extra in case the amount we prepared ran out or something happened to the original dish.

We also prepared all the food that was served in the cafe.  I learned fast that commercial foods was not for me (but not before participating a food fight! That was the most fun EVER, until clean-up).

It has taken years for me to learn how to scale down the amount of food I cook and sometimes my kids still look at me crazy on day 3 of leftovers.

I ended up going to a business college and getting my A.A.S. and became a secretary.  I'm pretty darn good at it, but I think I'm heading toward phase 3 in my life and looking for something different.

The desire to learn more about cake decorating did stick with me, so perhaps I'll pursue that...

Sunday, March 17, 2013

30 Days of Days: Day 7 - The Day You Found Your First Best Friend

People have always acted shady with me.  I'm pretty sure I have a sign on me somewhere that says I'll be your friend til you get what you need from me, then you can go.

All my life I've attracted users.  Best friends included. Til now.

The first best friend I can remember was in middle school.  Well, 7th grade because by 8th grade she wasn't and by 9th grade she was again.

I can't remember how we met or why we fell out, but that's as much memory as I've got. I won't be putting a name out there either.

30 Days of Days: Day 6 - The day you first held a job

I have no idea what my first day of my first job was.  I could assume that it was meant the first time I worked ever and know that it was a babysitting job.

I think the earliest I can remember babysitting someone other than my siblings was for a family that we're still very close to.  I think at that time there were only two.  A newborn and a 4 year old.

That soon enough grew into 4 kids plus my brother and sister.  I kept them every Monday and every summer while their mother taught summer school.

Now they are something like 27, 29, 31 and 35 with the 35 year old having a child herself.


This challenge writer is olllllld! LOL

Friday, March 15, 2013

30 Days of Days: Day 5 - The Day You First Fell in Love

Well, this one is a bit tricky.  I mean each time I thought I was in love, the next relationship went a little deeper and made me wonder if I was really in love or just super strong like.

I'll go with the first person that asked me to marry him.  

I was 17.  His name was Demetrius and I was as in love as a 17 year old could be.  We went on dates, we hung out, we did nothing and it was all good.  I met him a street over from where I grew up and I thought he was so cute.  He kept staring at me and a friend at the time played the go between that eventually got us together.

He was the only guy that ever has given me a ring.  It was supposedly an engagement ring and he let me pick it out.

Being pretty non-traditional, I chose a pearl one with diamonds on either side.  I wore that ring with pride...til he cheated.  I broke up with him and before it was over and done, I gave it back.  I wanted no reminders.

Ooops!  I might have just used up a story for another day.  Oh well.

The love I'm feeling now though feels like the first time because it's deeper and stronger than anything I've ever felt.  I don't know what the future holds, but I would be perfectly satisfied if this was "The One".  

30 Days of Days: Day 4 - A Day in High School

Wow...there are so many memories from high school!  The pics are Senior year.  I'm not really sure what to choose.

So many firsts for me in high school.

I know! Because I like to laugh and I have no problem laughing at myself, I'll tell about the craziest damn day I ever had in P.E. class.

It was my freshman year. Gym was my 2nd hour class. Two of the cutest guys in the school (in my opinion) were in the class. Yeah, I'mma name names! Benji Frazier 6' something, light skinned, crazy eyes that switch between blue and greenish, depending on his mood and Richard Burton, a darker skinned brother, not real tall, dimples, both nice looking guys. I really didn't have a crush on either of them, in fact, every time Richard (and his brother) got near me, we always bickered back and forth.

I mean EVERY time! This started when were little too, LOL. His brother and I still go back and forth on a good day (all in fun now though).

Anyway, this particular quarter, our group was taking volleyball. It was also volleyball season. There must have been a match after school because the regulation net was up and not our regular old run-of-the-mill family reunion, flimsy net. Well at the time, I didn't know this.

I skipped my happy tail toward the opposite side of the net, where our team was gathering, ducked as I went under the net, but didn't duck all the way because I knew the net would give.

Well it didn't. I clotheslined myself when the bottom of my chin chucked the net. Flat on my back I went and when I looked up, guess who was looking down at me laughing? Both of em! (Scrubs! LOL)

Somehow I recovered and was playing. I was in front and went for a spike and as if being clotheslined wasn't enough for one day, my arm went up and my bra strap popped.

Now I was no small chested girl. No siree Bob! I was a big C, almost D cup, so one side was nice and supported and the other side was a tad bit closer to the ground. I sat out the rest of the class and I think the Home Ec teacher (my favorite teacher) saved me with a safety pin until I could walk home at lunch time and change.

I'm not even sure who really knew why I sat out the remainder of the game, but I'll never forget!

30 Days of Days: Day 3-A Day in Middle School

I don't remember the exact date. I think it was May. An acquaintance of mine had been cleaning her uncle's home and picked up a gun. The gun went off and she was shot in the head. She was 13.

I think it was a funeral home that her service was held. I remember my Mom took me and a friend and that I sat on the end of a pew or seating or whatever it was.

I will always remember her two favorite songs that they played. It was the first non-relatives funeral I ever attended. There were so many students. So many tears.

R.I.P. Sharon Day

30 Days of Days: Day 2-A Day in Elementary School

This particular day I just did not want to be in school. It was recess and our school was surrounded by nature trails and had a huge school yard. Toward the back of the yard was a baseball diamond which was more likely to be used for kickball.

Well this particular day, the schoolyard was a mess. I guess it had rained the day before because there were huge puddles.

I don't know how it started, but all I remember next is play fighting with a friend of mine in a manner which could only be called mud wrestling. We were a mess!

Of course we got sent home. I think I told my parents I fell.

I don't know if they believed me or not. If they didn't, they were probably tickled because I don't remember getting in trouble.

I was literally head to toe mud! I wish I knew where the picture was that my Dad took.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

30 Days of Days: Day 1 A day containing your earliest memory

The absolute earliest memory I have is from when I was probably 2 or 3. We were living in the first house my parents ever owned.

I was a single child, but there were several neighborhood children. This particular day, there were a couple over to the house. For whatever reason, we went outside. I remember running around the house with them. At the time, we had a dog. A poodle/terrier mix.

The dog's name was Chipper. Now back then you didn't have to follow your dog with a pooper scooper, so there were "mines" throughout the area. After we ran around the house, we came inside to watch tv on the gigantic floor model in the living room.

I remember looking at the metal outside door, left open, so that a breeze could blow through the screen.

We were sitting there watching H & R Pufnstuf and my mom came in the room and immediately did a shoe check. I don't remember whose shoes they ended up being, but this is the earliest memory that I can recall.

A New Blog Challenge

Seems like the more I say I'm going to write regularly, the less I have to write about. I know it's been a minute since I've written anything, but best believe I have been blessed continuously and beyond measure!

Now about this challenge...

#1- a day containing your earliest memory

#2-a day in elementary school

#3- a day in middle school

#4- a day in high school

#5- the day you first fell in love

#6- the day you first held a job

#7- the day you found your first best friend

#8- a day you realized what you wanted to do/be

#9- the day you discovered the Internet

#10- a day you'd rather forget

#11- a daydream you have often

#12- a day you wish you could do differently

#13- a Christmas Day memory

#14- the day you hate to see coming

#15- the day you graduated (choose any that you remember most)

#16- the day of a child's birth (family or close friends apply)

#17- a day where you helped someone in a big way

#18- the last day of your first adult job

#19- your favorite day of the week and why

#20- the most memorable day of your childhood

#21- the day you met your most recent/or last love

#22- a day with the family you'll never forget

#23- the day you turned 21

#24- a memorable summer day

#25- a day you're currently planning for

#26- the day someone left and never came back (not death related)

#27- a day in your life (explain an average day of yours)

#28- the day you had your first fight. why?

#29- what you were doing today

#30-your proudest day to date

#31- Bonus Day: Pick a day you haven't described and share