Wednesday, October 6, 2010
It's A White Thing...Guess I don't Understand
I have two jobs. I'm pretty much a loner at my day job. My night one? There's no way possible.
I work in a nursery.
I work with one other chick, a white girl. She is always amazed when while we're talking or when she does something and I have a blank look, I tell her "That's a white thing".
I swear she thinks I'm racist on the DL. I'm not. I couldn't be. My kids are the only two out of the 8 grandchildren that have all black grandparents and I LOVE my nieces and nephews AND their grandparents. But dammit we do stuff differently!
How, you say? My co-worker's daughter goes to the bathroom at the nursery (public to just the nursery kids) and doesn't line up the toilet seat with toilet paper. That's a white thing. All the black mamas I know, made sure their daughters knew how to power squat in public restrooms. Hell, I've got no cartilage in one knee, I'll take a cup in the bathroom and say eff it!
My co-worker's daughter calls her grandmother by her first name. That's a white thing! Don't nobody black do that! What did Mama used to say? Put a handle on it! Auntie so and so; Mister so and so; even older cousins were Cousin so and so.
Call my grandmama by her first name? Only after her death and I still look over my shoulder!
Chick had to get get one of our kids from their swimming lesson and she let her walk alllll the way down the public hallway sans shoes! WHITE THING!!! She was floored when I told her black people don't do barefoot most times, except at home! I told her black people think parasites and germs n shit. *shiver*
A different co-worker was telling me this story *sink into your seat, it's kinda lengthy, I'll shorten as much as I can*
Her kids saw a dead possum. Their father had told them that usually when a possum gets hit and it's a mama, the babies are in her pouch and they end up suffocating to death. So what do they do? They go pick up the dead possum (a white thing) and slam it against a tree until the 8 babies pop out. The take them IN THE HOUSE (A FUCKING WHITE THING!) and make a "nest" of leaves and twigs in a less used bathtub and feed them condensed milk and mashed up worms until they can take care of themselves.
I ask you...who does that? *looks to the left* *looks to the right* WHITE PEOPLE DAMMIT!! LOL!
Ok, ok, there are some exceptions. Sometimes black folk have lost their way and they make the rest of us look bad.
Case in point...a different co-worker of mine, a black woman, is raising her granddaughter. When my vehicle was out of commission, she gave me rides. I was VERY appreciative, but chickie can't drive. I mean seriously, if you get nervous in traffic, you need a Toyota, not a Suburban! So the rule is, if I ride in your vehicle, it must be behind the wheel. Hey, she agreed! *whispering* not a black thing, LOL.
Anyway, we pick up the granddaughter from daycare. She's 3 mind you. I wait for her to buckle her in the car seat or the girl to buckle herself. Someone. Before I put the truck in reverse. They both just sit there. I say I'm not moving til the car seat is fixed. Do you know this grown ass (fake) black woman said "Oh, she doesn't like to wear it."
Ninja whaaaaaaat?!?!?! What do you mean SHE doesn't like to wear it? SHE doesn't have a choice. SHE doesn't even know how to spell her first and last name. 'Tha f*@k outta here!
I got out of the truck and got in the little girl's face and told her to sit back while I put her car seat together. She said she didn't want to. So I broke out the real deal. I said do you like being a pretty little girl? Yes. Do you know what will happen if we get in an accident and you don't have your seatbelt on? No. You will fly out of that sunroof and cut your face on the way out and you will be on the ground and bleeding and you will have a big scratch on your face IF you can get back up. Is that what you want? No. Then stop talking back and sit down and be quiet and still, while I put on your belt! I had no problems after that.
Negotiating with a 3 year old? Nah, that ain't a white thing. That's a stupid thing. I wish I would.
I could go on and on, but I'm going to stop here. There are clear differences between the way black mamas and white mamas raise their children. As long as they all teach with love and respect, I guess it doesn't really matter.
The fact remains though that some things only traditionally happen with white mamas and as a black mama, I just don't understand.