Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Saturday, October 23, 2010

What Do I Know?

The other day, my 18 year old asked me if he was gay, would I still love him.

I asked him what one had to do with the other?

He assured me that he wasn't and went on about his business.

I know what was on his mind though, because it's been on mine too. All these gay teens committing suicide hurts my heart.

I know most parents would die inside if their child came to them with that. Some would disown them. If either of my sons came out to me, we'd deal with it together. I'd tell them that I still loved them and God did too, despite what most "church folk" said. Nowhere have I ever seen that God doesn't like homosexuals. I've read that he despises the act, but never the person. I recognize there is a time and place for religious teaching and the time to be a parent sometimes supercedes that. I know some won't agree with me. Do I care?

I feel for those teens. I don't know how they were raised. If they were taught not to care what someone else's opinion of them is or if their parents were always there for them, no matter what.

I don't know if they had someone telling them that they still matter as a person, despite their sexual preference.

I don't know if they had someone praying for them. Note I said praying FOR them, not forcing them to pray it out of them.

I don't know why those other kids who bullied them had such a low self esteem about themselves that they picked on the ones who were confused or maybe sure about who they were.

I don't know if they had parents who taught them that no one is better than any other person and they decided to give in to peer pressure and berate the gay teens.

I don't know what those same teens will do, if one day, one of their children comes out to them.

I just don't know.

What I do know? I've created a relationship with MY children, that they feel comfortable coming to me, no matter what. That even some of their friends feel the same way.

What I do know? No child in my life should ever feel that there are no adults that they can confide in.

What I do know? That adult is me...


The God'ess said...

I couldn't talk to my mother about certain things so I have tried to make sure that my kids feel comfortable talking to me about whatever. We speak about sex topics, relationship topics, money issues or whatever it is that's on their minds. I'd rather them get the whole story from me than some half-assed story off the streets like I did.

And BTW, you know a lot.

LaLa said...

it's great that you are one of those parents..i know my parents would freak out and possibly kill me (my dad) if i came out to them

Afrodeezha said...

@God'ess I was the same way and I think my mother and sister were apalled at some of the things my kids knew about at an early age. I feel like if they are old enough to ask, they're old enough for me to tell, even if it's an abridged version.

@LaLa I'm pretty sure mine would too...well, freak out, not kill.

Da_Kween said...

I can honestly say...that I can go to my mom. I know that if I was gay and wanted to come to her...I could. She was that mom for the friends of mine and my sister.

Kids need to know that you'll discern from being a "religious parrot" to being a REAL PARENT! I'm glad you rock like that sis. lol

(((hugs to my big sexy and little big voice))) ...They have an auntie who cares, too :)

Butterfly Effect said...

My oldest is very secretive but my 11 year old can't hold water. I'm trying to make sure they know no matter what they can come to me if they are feeling depressing feelings