Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Saturday, May 25, 2013

I can't stand the rain

I hate days like today.  I feel like I have pockets deep down inside that are stuffed with sadness that no one could possibly understand unless they were there.

It's a cold rainy day.  Seems like the constant rain is mocking me.

Periodically that sadness comes to the surface and no one can take it away but God. I'm waiting for Him to take it away...apparently it isn't time.

I don't want to do anything to hurt myself, it's nothing like that.  It's just a deep emptiness that comes from missing someone's (that's not a typo) so much that it would hurt.  If you could still feel. Tears flow freely.  You aren't really crying, tears just constantly fall.  It's a stay in bed, electricity optional, talk to no one because they wouldn't understand it kind of day.  I can hear it now...you need to snap out of it. You need to do this, you need to do that.  YOU don't need to tell me what to do because YOU don't know what this feels like.

Well I know all too well that that would only irritate me, I know it simply has to pass.  I can't tell you how to mourn, nor should you try and tell me.

Saw a pic today that shows exactly how I feel.  What surrounds me, overwhelms me.

Gotta walk through this forest of sadness one tiny step at a time...