Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Friday, January 6, 2012

Not Quite Full Circle

Here it is, 2012...

My first post of the year.

My first post since my birthday.

I had a life changing birthday.  The best I've ever had.

The day was like any other day.  I actually worked on my birthday this year. Something I never do.

The boss treated me to lunch, and we, with two other co-workers thoroughly enjoyed a soul food meal and rolled back to the office, LOL.

We have a great office to work in.  Everyone gets along, no backbiting and gossip. Very pleasant place and great boss.

Went home after work and because it was my birthday, I decided I was going to be right where I wanted to be and at 8 pm, I was in the chat room at www.urbansoulzradio.webs.com with my Urbansoulz family, kicking it. Little did I know, not only was it an end of the year show, it was an online surprise party for me.

Who does that? The Marshall and The Messenger! They have the best shows ever and know how to make someone feel special and totally loved!  I have been on Cloud 9 ever since!

After the show, I went to dialysis.  Only I got a 7 hour treatment in 4 hours and I think that, with the possibility of them taking off too much fluid, sent my body into shock and when it was time to leave, my blood pressure dropped way too low, way too fast and I lost consciousness.  When I came back to, the tech and nurse were standing over me, fear on their faces.

After all, the treatment prior, a patient went into cardiac arrest and died the next day.

When I came to, I couldn't breathe, so I asked for some oxygen.  I don't know what was going on. They oxygen was on, but oxygen wasn't getting into my body.  I didn't know what to do, so I told them to call an ambulance and I started praying.

I'm not talking about no little prim and proper prayer either.  I told them that I wouldn't be delirious, but I'd be praying in tongues so don't be afraid.  That is a deeper level of praying when you allow the Holy Spirit to take over and pray for you very specifically. I may never know what all I prayed for, but I know that while I was in the ambulance, I kept slipping and gasping for breath and I somehow knew that what was happening was bigger than just me.

I can barely describe it and most people won't believe it, but I felt a tug of war for my spirit.  Like the devil was trying to take my life and something angelic was trying to keep me there.  I know that in retrospect, I can compare it to the scene in Ghost, when the guy that got hit by a car was being summoned by death. He tried to pull away, but death took over.

Death wasn't taking me over.  I somehow remembered to praise God in the midst of trouble or sorrow and that's exactly how I was taken into the emergency room.  I had to lower my hand to even get out of the ambulance and I'd been playing gospel music on my iPhone from the time I'd opened my eyes at dialysis.

I know a lot of people say their life flashes before them, but mine didn't.  I just thought of very specific people that I love very much that I know would be devastated if I'd died. I'm not sure what that says about my feelings for them, because one of them wasn't a blood relative.  Time will reveal, I suppose.  (I hope)

I ended up getting all kinds of tests done that answered nothing. I stayed overnight in the hospital for observation and was able to go home on New Year's Day.

I've been pretty good since then.  I get tired very easily though.  I'm not used to that.  Between my best friend and my boss fussing at me, I'm learning to slow things down a lot.



This was taken after I'd been settled in my room. I know certain friends of mine are not satisfied with me just saying I'm ok. They need a visual.

Needless to say, I have a new appreciation for life and I refuse to waste it on people and things that don't encourage me or are full of negativity.