Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Friday, April 8, 2011

Friends and Fighting

Yesterday on Facebook, someone posted a stat that said something like "I didn't know that when people came of age, they still didn't want their friends speaking to someone they'd fallen out with".

I kind of chuckled about it, but it's stayed on my mind all night and I realized that there's a lot of truth to that statement and I've been thinking about why.

I've come to the conclusion that it's not so much "You're supposed to be my friend and I'm mad at him/her, so I don't want you to talk to them!" as it is "You're my friend and I've told you some things about that person, so if you're all chummy with them now, can I still trust you?"

I took a look at some of the "friend break ups" I've had and depending on what someone has done, I have left them alone altogether after they fell out with a mutual friend.

One friendship in particular, two of my friends fell out. I remained friends with them both, but one of them took on a real ugly persona, that was a turn off to me. I still speak to her occasionally, but I really don't care for the person she's revealed herself to be.

Am I wrong for that? I don't think so. I admit that when I first learned what was going on between the two of them, it made me take a closer look at the things she did, but she earned it all on her own.

I don't like to see people I'm close to being mistreated and I take it personally. I mean if they'll treat them like that, who's to stop them from treating me the same way? Why give them the chance? I've never been real good with the girlfriend thing anyway.

I thought of past friendships where I fell out with someone. I don't think (correct me if I'm wrong) that I "required" anyone to stop dealing with someone just because I did. Now what I DO admit to doing is if someone knew the details and they started hanging with that person even more than before, it made me question their loyalty as a friend to me. I mean like I said, can I really trust them?

I don't know, it's all so high school...isn't it?


MBT4679 said...

It really is.

I recently told some friends that I cannot stand someone they call friend. I said I respect that she is your friend, but I can't get down with her like that. Don't expect me to come to functions where she is involved, etc. I'm not making them choose sides, I'm simply removing myself from situations so as to not make them feel conflicted.

We're not always all going to be close with everyone. If my friendship with you is strong, I'm not threatened by your friendship with someone else. Period. Unless that friend constantly talks bad about me or does shady things to me. Then I'm looking at you funny, like... how are you tolerating this?

But nah, I'm too grown for all of that.

1manview said...

Woman have more of a problem with this then men. Emotions I guess you can say. When men truly bond, we understand some of their friends may not be ours. You might be their freind because of their good side, they might be his freind because of his wild side. After all, life has many sides, or should I say colors. It's not all a black and white world, it has a lot of gray areas too....

Thee_Kween said...

Woman...stay OUTTA my head! You hear me?


Im here via the kween and yall in my head!! I agree 100%