Sunday, October 14, 2012
Let me start off by saying I have trust issues. I acknowledge that. I have put my trust in so many people who have come back to bite me in the butt, that I just don't freely give up me, in any way, shape or form, unless I really trust you. Now what I might do is give you just enough that might seem gossipworthy and see if I end up hearing it again and if I do, you won't know. I won't front you (unless you add to it). I just won't mess with you because I see what you're about. What will frustrate me though, is others putting all their trust in you and I already know you ain't ish.
It's not my place to tell everyone you ain't about nothing because for all I know, you only treated me the way you did.
Now about this caculated depression... What exactly is that? It's when someone (usually an attention whore, oh, you don't know what that is either? An attention whore is someone who thrives on the attention of others) "stages" depression so that others' concern about them is intensified.
Where is it seen? Usually on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter.
How do you recognize it? People who do this kind of thing, build up to their depression by telling all the things that are going wrong in their life. No matter how much other people pray for them and try to help them by sending whatever they are lacking, it never seems to be enough and then one day they announce to the world that they are depressed or say something crazy and then disappear.
Now this usually doesn't last much longer than a week because they need constant attention, but people who haven't experienced this won't recognize it and will fall for the okey-doke, but someone who's done it or has seen it happen, will see it coming and can almost predict the day it's going down.
I have a former friend, who will of course remain nameless, that used to pull this all the time in her LDR. I observed it a couple of times before I called her on it.
When I called her on it, she confessed that it was a tactic that she used to make him "act right". When she felt she wasn't getting the attention she thought she should get, she'd start acting extra needy and if he didn't respond the way she wanted him to she would disappear. She wouldn't get online "officially". Trick was, she still needed attention, so she had an another account that he didn't know about and no one but her closest friends knew it was her and she would feed that need that way. She wouldn't answer his calls, wouldn't respond to his texts or emails in the name of depression.
After aboout 7 days, she knew he was worried sick about her and she began taking calls again. Well he would be so happy to hear from her again that he didn't even realize he was getting played each time.
Once I figured out this thing she did, I kind of started paying attention to how she would manipulate people and she quickly became a person I didn't mess with.
I see this calculated depression on Facebook often and it's not limited to young or old, male or female (though it's usually female) and I just wish that people would open their eyes and call them on it.
Bottom line, if you're truly depressed, you don't have to say it, if you have to announce it, I'm suspect. I mean the people closest to you can tell something is "off" even when you lie and say you're fine.
I might be wrong though, so I hope no one's life ever depends on me.