Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Friday, October 12, 2012

How Does Your Garden Grow?

First of all, this post is not about any one person in particular, so if you feel like it's about you, then perhaps you need to check yourself. Secondly, it's (mostly) not gender specific because things happen both ways.

Making a kid (or kids) and just walking away is like planting a garden and never tending it. You not tending it doesn't stop it from growing. The weeds take over and sometimes choke the life out of the plants, but some plants are stronger and are able to flourish, despite. Surely not as well as if someone had pruned it and pulled the weeds in the first place.

In other words, though you may not have ever been in your child's life, YOU STILL AFFECT THEM. Some fight, some get busy, some just have severe emotional issues, while you live your life.

I guess I don't understand how someone can just do that. What goes through your mind when you see that child? Were you always that kind of person or did you just turn into that kind of person? Why do you think it's cool to play house with a new girl or guy's kids when you have never done right for your own?

Oh, let me not forget the parent that is there and doesn't do anything. Guess what? You might as well not be there. What good are you really? You are there taking up space, taking up the time, space, food and probably the money of the other parent. The same goes if one of your parents is doing for your child and you're doing nothing.

Get yo life!

Now I can hear all the uh uh's and tell it's! Not so fast...

The exact same thing can be said for some of the absentee mothers I've seen. Just because your kids live in your house, doesn't mean you're a good mom. If you move your man of the month into your place, you're not putting your kids first. If you're bringing (or living with) your drug dealing man, you're opening his lifestyle up to you and your kids, come on now...If you're always having your older kids watch your younger kids so you can go out, you're not doing that great a job. If you raise your kids until they are teens and then you let them raise themselves, you aren't doing that great a job. I've seen some of you just give your kids up to their father. Great for him and boo for you.

Parenting begins in pregnancy and it never really ends, so if you just stop, you're really doing your child an injustice. If you never started, well, you just suck.

Yeah, I knew there would be little to no co-signers...


Deeper Than My Thoughts said...

I damn sho cosign! I agree with this post 100%. My daughters father has been absent since before she was born. I've not seen nor heard from him since she was 1, almost 3 years ago. It angers me beyond words how u can live 20 minutes away from your child and just act like they don't exist. I work so hard to pour into and through her life to make sure she has everything she needs and some of what she wants. It's hard!!! But I love my youngin beyond measure and wouldn't trade her for the world. She is smart, funny, and just a beautiful little person.

Afrodeezha said...

Single parenting can be successful beyond measure and it's the absent parent that misses out, but it's the child that hurts about it later.

Keep taking care of business Mama, you are who she will appreciate!

Reggie said...

As a man, I don't have ANY respect for the type of man that would make a child and walk away like Johnny Appleseed. My children are dear to me and I owe it to them to be there for them.

Oh there are things that I would change in regards to decisions I made once or twice over the years. But overall, nah I don't regret anything. I love my now college aged children. They're both students and hopefully they'll both get their degrees within the next 18 months or so.

I couldn't imagine having to watch them grow up from afar. I don't understand the man that's okay with that. The greatest thing that I've ever done with my life is to be a father.

I didn't always say yes and I still won't but my children had everything they needed while they were growing up; and they continue to get everything that they really need.

It's not like being a father ever stops....that's a lifelong committment.

Deeper Than My Thoughts said...

Thanks Hun... I know she will and does appreciate me. I'm going to keep fighting the good fight for my lil lady. Reggie you are an awesome upstanding man.

Afrodeezha said...

Reggie I applaud you for taking your job as a parent seriously and thank you for being an example of a real man!