Short and Sweet: F@#* You!

I understand that there was a bit of gum-bumping in the name of Afrodeezha in the past couple of days.

I must be doing something right.

Without putting it all out here, there was a sitch a few days ago that didn't have such a great outcome.

Now that I've had a few days to simmer down, I can see a bit clearer and I'm not as angry. I'm sure that someone, somewhere will have something to say, but what's new?

I realize that things had to happen the way they did because someone has a deep need to be on top. It's all good. I had my time in their eyes. Things had to happen this way because otherwise that party might have never had a chance.

I could, however, be completely wrong. I doubt it though.

I say that if such great lengths needed to be taken to get the results they needed, then shame on their pitiful souls.

I will get past this, no matter what. If things were meant to be, there's nothing anyone can do to stop them. In the meantime, enjoy, because you never know for sure whether someone's mind is on you, just because their body is. I know good or bad, I made an impression...

No Words composed by Thee_Kween

I wrote this today in an email to one of my SiStars who seemed to be having a hard time. I had JUST reported to another friend how I'd been virtually uninspired for over 3mos...and needed to get back on. For this poem to unfold so spontaneously and bring understanding to someone in emotional need...was just perfection.




silence from you lover,
is like obscenities yelled evilly at my ear
the harsh winds
of your bated breath
from stifled words
cause blemish
to my sensibilities
resistance,
to extend your soul out to me
is like a short hit to my heart
i seize in shock
and fall from hurt feelings
fall from the foundation
no longer holding me up
if you spoke
thunk of the simplest insult
even an exhausted sigh,
i might
not feel like...
our love has died
i might
not feel like
this is bye
if your mouth
parted,
with space for words to wander
over the fullness of your lips
that i love to kiss
and touch the tip
of your tongue
that i long to suck
that it just might not suck
that you're silenced...
oh, love...
how i wish you'd
cuss me
fuss me
touch me with
disgust for me
rather than cringe
and recoil
from the sight of me
the idea
that maybe,
you love me more
than this silence you've
pledged yourself to...
my ears are
ringing
with the shit i'd
rather
you say
then the closing of your heart
or the shortness of your compassion
or the limited concern for my cry...
i,
feel like,
why?
what have i done,
SO badly...
what crime have i
committed
other than kneeling in submission
to the love that beckons praising
with my adoration
adulation
and hips' gyrations...
what have i done
other than
nod yes
when my ego and pride
yelled no
and lay bare
when my "self"
warned me to don layers
for my preservation
is that my crime?
or is my crime...
milking the man in you
that would rather roam
and giving you thoughts
of one home
procuring for you
asylum from the things
that cause you to mask your
true heart
it's desires
the fears
and failures...
[sigh]
love...
your silence
has brought me to
this soliloquy of
frustrated and flurried
thoughts
all because
rather than speak your
pain
you inflict silence onto
mine...
and it hurts.


Thank you Sister. You can read more of Kween's writing at her spot

Fake: A Repost from Saturday, October 16, 2010

Please don't patronize me

I'd rather you didn't speak.

Your hug, less than happy,

Enthusiasm, rather weak.



If you don't like me

It really is ok

You don't have to say anything,

Won't make or break my day.



It really irks the hell outta me

To keep strained conversation

And it isn't like no one knows your simple ass is fakin'.



I stopped caring a couple years ago

What anyone else thinks.

Well, sometimes I do and you are one of them *blink blink*



Psyche! Truly? You can kiss my ass.

You're putting on a show

And I see through you, like glass.



It's alright though cuz when I see you shimmy

Up to me, I put on an Emmy

Worthy performance because I can't stand you.

For now a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

100 Words: Life

Tears are cleansing, when they come.
I can feel them well up, but they refuse to fall.
I want to be sad, but I’m too angry.
Angry at you. Angry at me. No one else matters.

I want to laugh too. People really think they know how I work.
Only a select few really know. That stuff is too deep for television.
Well, the television of our lives.

Let people think what they will of me. The less they really know, the better for me.

Funny how life takes you in one direction and does a 180 the next moment.

100 Words: Intuition

Intuition is a funny thing. You get a gut feeling. Sometimes you act on it, sometimes you don’t.

If you feel strongly about something that the “general consensus” doesn’t agree with, they make you feel like something is wrong with you.

You’re immature. You’re closed minded. You’re petty.

Sometimes you begin to question YOUR gut feeling, after all, you’ve been wrong before, right?

You give in. Accept the best you can. It’s not easy, but you fake it long enough, it will happen, right?

Sometimes…sometimes you find you were 100 percent wrong about a person.

Sometimes, you’re 100 percent right…

100 Words: Love

Love can be so complicated at times.

You can’t control who you love though and when something happens, you just can’t stop loving them immediately.

You try not to think of the good times, but you can’t stop reliving them. You might not want anyone else to know, but you do.

Your closest friends ask if you’re ok and you tell them yes, when you know it’s the furthest from the truth.

Your appetite is whack, you don’t want to be bothered with people and you just want answers. Answers you may or may not get.

Deep into protection mode...

100 Words: Trust

I trusted the one who said “Don’t be afraid, I’ll always be there for you”. If you need me, just say it. I’ll do what I can to take care of you. I love you.

So when I saw something that could potentially hurt that one, I found a way to tell them, though I knew that telling would hurt them too; except they didn’t appreciate it. Even blamed me. Well, they didn’t come right out and say it. In fact, they didn’t say a word.

I thought we were better. Damn the rest involved. Who are you? No, really…