Today I really would've liked to have had some type of script font. It's a curly letter kinda day...

I haven't quite decided what today's title will be.  It's a toss up between "A Letter to My Heart", A Conversation Between My Brain and My Heart" and "Heart, You Suck".

I have to tell you, my heart is a HARDHEADED summamamofo!

I told this daggone thing last year that we were done with long distance love, meaningless relationships and we were not doing the love thing again PERIOD, until I had taken some time to figure out who I'd become (do you know that each experience changes just a little bit of you?) 

Anyway, I got my mind into the single, not looking phase and not one, but two people that I'd had a crush on re-entered my life at the same time! What the hell?

I've developed a great friendship with both.  Neither of them live here.   At one point, I was really digging one that gave me no indication (at that time) that he felt the same.  I was cool with that.  Two great friends is not a bad thing at all.  Untilllll the other guy started feeling me.  That's when I realized that HE was the one I was really cool with just being friends with.

So now, here I am, great friends with a great guy that takes my breath away daily and another great guy

Sweet Dreams?

Let me start by saying this...I take something equivalent to Ambien from time to time. Have you ever read the possible side effects?

There is a bunch of them! The craziest possible side effects to me are that you may sleepwalk. You may get in your car and drive somewhere. You may unknowingly have sex with someone and have NO RECOLLECTION in the morning!

I had a friend that used to drive to people's houses and back home and never remember a thing. He probably never would have known if the person he went to see didn't tell him. Another friend, I've watched him sleep after Ambien. He always fights, throwing punches and yelling. Sometimes he wakes himself up and looks around and then falls right back to sleep.

Thankfully, the only thing I have to deal with is being sleepy the following day and the dreams I have while taking it.

Oh the dreams. I have had some crazy ones. Most I can't remember much of. The one I had last night was about one of my exes.

I was hanging out with 2 other women. Neither of which I know. In the dream, I knew one of them. Now we don't live in the same city, so I thought it was funny that in this dream, we went to his house. He wasn't home, but I still had a key.

We went in the house and sat at the kitchen table and talked for awhile and the girl I knew wanted to lay down. So I showed her where the bedroom was. When I came back to the kitchen, the other girl was putting his things in her pockets.

I said "Really?" I bring you here and you want to steal? Rachet wench!

Well before I really get a chance to lay into her, he comes in with his new girlfriend. I don't recognize her, but they are playing around. She had jumped on his back and that's how they came into the house.

He was surprised to see me, to say the least. He sent the girlfriend to chill in his room and he sent the other girl back there too. We sat and talked in the kitchen for hours. I asked him if he wasn't going to talk to his company and he said "She'll be alright".

Well guess what? I get an invite to connect on LinkdIn today!!! What's that about?

Just a Follow Up on The Last Post

If you didn't read my last post I spoke on people making uninformed opinions about people in entertainment and how people were going IN on Nicki Minaj supporting Mitt Romney. Because I like to be informed, I started searching for said endorsement. Alas, the only one I could find was a lyric in a song...and it wasn't even Nicki as Nicki, it was Nicki as Roman. Who listens to Roman? Apparently the fool that started the rumor. Even President Obama knew the difference. ..Nicki Minaj Confirms Romney Endorsement Was Sarcasm By Matthew Larotonda | ABC OTUS News – Mon, Sep 10, 2012.. Rapper Minaj has broken her silence on her apparent endorsement of Mitt Romney via her Twitter account. And apparently, President Obama's suggestion she was playing a "character" was not too far off. She writes: "@nickiminaj Ha! Thank you for understanding my creative humor & sarcasm Mr. President, the smart ones always do… *sends love & support* @barackobama" This morning the president told an Orlando hip-hop station he wasn't sure what to make of the media reports of the artist's endorsement or whether to believe she was being serious. "I'm not sure that's actually what happened," Obama said in a radio interview. The hosts of Power 95.3's "Obie and Lil'Shawn" show had asked the president what he thought of a recently debuted Minaj song, which contains the lyrics "I'm a Republican voting for Mitt Romney/You lazy b*****s is f*****g up the economy." Minaj was featured as a guest artist on a Lil' Wayne album released last week. "I think she had a song on there - a little rap that said that," Obama said. "But she likes to play different characters, so I don't know what's going on there." The president was referencing the fact that Minaj is known for adopting off-beat alter-egos as part of her act. One show host offered his own explanation: "That was probably Roman who did it," he said jokingly, a reference to Minaj's alter-ego "Roman Zolanski." It's one of her more popular personas portrayed to be evil. He makes "appearances" across multiple albums. As of press time Minaj had not addressed the issue on Twitter, and her publicists have not returned ABC News' requests for comment. The president, though, said he tends to pay less attention to any ribbing he receives from celebrities. "The truth is when it comes to music and movies, etc. Michelle and I just focus on who's good," Obama concluded. "Look, I love Clint Eastwood movies, man." How many bandwagoners jumped on,tried and convicted her without even laying eyes on anything officially? See, you've probably had your mind made up about something you've heard about me too. People, I don't berate you for having an opinion. Everyone has the right to have one, but PLEASE, make it an informed one! And yes, from time to time, I listen to Nicki Minaj!

Some Of You Should Know Better

I normally don't talk politics because doing so has the potential to break up some pretty decent acquaintanceships (as opposed to friendships), but I was so proud of my President last night, I couldn’t hold back!

What I saw in my Facebook Timeline later in the night however, was rather disappointing. I saw people announcing that if they had any connections who weren’t voting for President Obama, to delete themselves from their contacts. All Republicans are stupid. All kinds of stuff. When did political party become a requirement of friendship? I know I have some connections who are not supporters of President Obama. That’s their choice. There is more to a person than their political party. We may not agree on some things, but something clicked between us at some point and I personally refuse to remove them from my life because they don’t want to vote for the person I want to. I mean if you’re going that route, you might as well get rid of anyone who cheers for a team that rivals your favorite, right? Or only keep people who prefer lemon cake over chocolate. Now I’m not saying that I have friends who are undercover Klansmen or anything so extreme, but I respect my friends and acquaintances enough to understand that we will not likely agree on everything and not let that affect the relationship we’ve built, whatever it is. While we’re talking judgment here, I want to address something else. I see a whole lot of people who say they believe in God and love God, hate on a lot of folks. I think the most “hated” these days is Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne. At least those are the names I saw most last night between Twitter and Facebook. Folks are giving Nicki the blues because she’s (allegedly, because I didn’t hear her say it) voting for Romney. That is her choice. I don’t know what the reasoning is behind that, but I would assume that she has made an informed decision based on her beliefs. That’s what we do in America. Everyone is criticizing her, but do we even know how she came to that conclusion? Do we know that she will actually follow through with that? Do we know if she said that just to get a rise out of folks? Not at all. Which one of those people has actually spoken with her? Do they know the reasoning behind the things she does? For all they know, she could have been very poor growing up and paranoid about being there again after having so much money. *shrug* It’s just hard to pass true judgment when you really don’t know someone.

What I see when I look at her is sometimes real strange, but it seems to work for her. What I also see is a lot of “Barbz and Ken Barbz” who dress similar to her and who are devout followers. I see little girls who might otherwise be loners, up their self esteem when Nicki addresses them. It’s not much. It might not be the inspiration you and I had, but things aren’t like they were when we were younger. Which brings me to the next one, Lil Wayne…I “liked” him on FB and almost immediately got an inbox message from someone saying “I didn’t know you had a thing for roaches”. Wow, really? Perhaps your mirror is too small to show you your shortcomings. I guess people don’t realize that the entertainment business is just that, people doing what they do to ENTERTAIN people. If everyone entertained the same way, guess what? People wouldn’t be entertained! So entertainers, in the midst of what they do, find a way to be different while being the same. Does that make sense? Oh I didn’t see the VMA’s, but someone went IN on Wayne because he came out on a skateboard. Guess what? He loves to skate! They go in on the skinny pants he wears. Guess what? That’s what some skaters wear. It doesn’t make him gay, it makes him comfortably dressed for when he hits an ollie kickflip or an ollie heelflip. Don’t know what that is? Oh, you probably know just as much about him! Do you get it yet?

You won’t understand why people do the things they do until you get the opportunity to sit down and talk with them and you may not understand even then, but this has become such a judgmental society that no one even cares to find the why’s. In my head, Wayne isn’t much different than Michael Jackson. He became an entertainer when he was what? 13 or 14? That is still a kid. He didn’t have the easiest life, so maybe skateboarding gives him the kind of freedom you should have in childhood. I don’t know. I know I admire the fact that he’s got an education. He’s not a deadbeat dad and he has an amazing memory (did you know he doesn’t write his lyrics down?). Stop always trying to see the negative. You’ve probably looked at someone and thought umph, he thinks he’s the ish. That ain’t even her hair. SO WHAT. Not saying I’ve never done it, but who am I to decide what THEY think? NOBODY!! And neither are you. We have enough things to deal with in our day to day lives, stop adding unnecessary things to it. Sheesh. At the end of the day, we really aren’t all that different. We’ve just had different experiences that make us who we are.

Back to what I originally said, the bible says to love thy neighbor as thyself, not love thy neighbor if he votes for Obama, love thy neighbor if thy neighbor isn’t weird or love thy neighbor only if you understand them…