Day 4~ Favorite Love song...and why?

Let me allow you to enter my head for a moment. We're in Jamaica or someplace surrounded by the blue waters of the Caribbean Sea. It's sunrise. It's just me, him and a minister and we're exchanging vows

That to me, is the ultimate love goal, to have a life partner to share my life with, good or bad, rich or poor, sick or well.

I've had it in my heart for as long as I can remember.

Spend My Life by Tamia and Eric Benet, to me embraces all those feelings. Though I have many "favorites", this consistently makes my top 5...

Day 3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...

My most recent love, I'm still in love with...

He means the world to me. I'll do almost anything for him.

We met online. We had some friends in common and ran in some of the same circles. I'd say we did that without really talking for several months. Then one day a mutual friend, her name was Subira, threw a virtual party. Basically we were a bunch of bored folks who would post pictures of what food we'd bring and who we were dancing with, while listening to the music that people would post in the thread. Man, that damn Yahoo 360 was the business!

Anyway, I "grabbed" him for a slow dance and so began our virtual friendship. Over the next couple of years we'd talk online, but that was it. One day he wanted to call me. We talked and it was cool and I wasn't sure what to think. In the meantime, I began talking to someone else who really told me some negative things about him, so I kind of left it alone.

Over the next couple of years, I really got to know him for myself and I was pleasantly surprised. He was not what I was told at all. In fact, he was and is one of the coolest, smartest, funniest people I know.

At the time we met face to face, neither of us were solo, so there was nothing more than friendship, but later, when were both single, we really started talking. Next thing you know, we were in a relationship.

Not a conventional relationship, but a relationship nonetheless and a long distance one at that.

During the time we were together, I'd have to say that he pushed me past limits I didn't know I could go past. I'd had a previous abusive relationship and had learned to shut down when things didn't go as I thought they should. He wouldn't let me do that. He taught me how to bring things out into the open again, so a resolution could be found.

He was encouraging every way possible and he was patient. I don't know that I've been with anyone so patient. In the past, when things got a bit hectic, I'd subconsciously start sabotaging things and ultimately end the relationship.

He wouldn't let me do that. We might not speak for a few days, but he wouldn't let me quit.

Well, not too long ago I quit. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, to walk away when things are mostly good, but I had to do what I thought was best for me.

I still love him very much. We still talk nearly every day and I'd still do almost anything for him.

I don't know if we'll ever end up back together, but I know that without a doubt, he's always going to be a part of my life in some capacity.

I'd venture to say that with him I had my deepest, most meaningful relationship to date...

So why didn't I write about him in my Day 2 post? Well duh, I was writing about him in Day 3!

Day 2~ Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...

I met him my freshman year in high school. He was a senior. He was on the football team. I was on the pom squad. On game day he would always make comments about my thighs...

Fast forward a couple years and a few months after the breakup of Day 1, we started talking. I was 17, he was 21 and my mom had issues with that, though I was soon to be 18.

After his aunt had a talk to my mom, we were cleared to date.

We did everything together. He was protective of me. I was included in all family gatherings and holidays. He wanted to buy me a car, so I'd have my own transportation. When a guy at work disrepected me, he went up to the job and handled things. When I thought I couldn't handle things at home and called myself running away from home, he came to the city I was in to bring me back home.

He was a wonderful boyfriend.

He showed me love in every way. He even had his aunt teach him how to make chicken cacciatori for me.

I still remember the white sweater he bought me for Christmas, our first year together.

When I went away to college, he was such a great boyfriend, I didn't even think about cheating on him.

When I came home that Christmas, he bought me my first VCR, to my mother's disdain.

When I came back home for spring break, he broke up with me. He never told me why, but I suspect he thought I was seeing someone at school. I didn't date until a month after we broke up, but I always wanted to know why.

We talked a few times in the 90's, but he'd changed. I'd gained the freshman 20 (yeah, the overachiever I am) and he didn't like that. He thought that making snide remarks would make me lose it. Of course, since I'd turned into an emotional eater, it helped not one iota.

Fast forward almost 20 years...we reconnected on Facebook. It was good while it lasted, but not too long ago I noticed we are no more.

Oh well, I wish him, his wife and their beautiful son well...

30 Day Love Challenge: Day 1-First Love

"Long as I live....my first love

Day 1~ First Love (of course!)...what they meant/mean to you...


My first love...his name was Demetrius. His nickname was Pee Wee.

He was a year younger than me and I really got to know him my senior year in high school, through my step-brother. Hah, I actually got to know my step-brother through him.

When prom came around, we'd already had other dates, so we didn't go together.

We started dating the summer after I graduated. We'd do what teenagers would do...go to the movies, go hang out with friends, go out to eat.

Pee Wee was a good 1st boyfriend, I thought. He was fine, had his own car, wasn't afraid to take me home to meet his family.

He was the first guy to propose to me. Let me choose my own ring. I didn't like traditional rings back then and I'd chosen a pearl ring with diamonds on the side.

We dated for almost two years. When the next school year rolled around, I was working at Sears and he was in school and I'd often pick him up at the end of the day. This was before all the school shootings and I'd actually go into the school and wait outside his classroom door.

He played football and I went to nearly all his games, hitching a ride with the cheerleaders in out of town games.

Perfection, right?

Yeah.

I go to his house one day and his sisters answer the door and they say he's not home, but they point upstairs. What? All my ex-families loved me then and they still love me!

So I go upstairs and lo and behold, he's upstairs with another girl. Needless to say, we broke up that day...

A few days later, I'd heard from a friend, that he'd been so upset about our breakup that he'd been drinking and decided to run his mom's cadillac into a light pole, in an attempt to end his life. I don't know how much of THAT story is true, but his mama's car was totaled and he asked for the ring back to help pay for the damage.

I'm the type of person that if my feelings for you cease, I don't want to see a daggone thing that reminds me of you, so I was only too happy to give it back.

After that there were messages through friends telling me how sorry he was and he wanted me back, etc. Wasn't happening.

I ended up going away to school and he decided to go to the military. Before he left, he came with my cousin, to visit me at school and to say goodbye.

He ended up in Germany and would write me from time to time, but a couple years would pass before I'd see him again.

When he did come back, he was doing so to get married. There's a whole lot of skipping in this story, for the protection of those involved.

Long story, a little shorter, we're connected on Facebook. Talk very little and as far as I know, he's divorced and from time to time, I have to remind him that we were together in '87 and not 20 anything...

So basically, he's an acquaintance that shares both good and bad memories with me...

Oh boy...I thought I was ready for this, but now I don't know...the next 30 days, I'm going to be raw, judging by these challenge questions...The hard part for me, will be figuring what, in my past relationships, was love and what was lust.

30 Day Love Challenge


1~ First Love (of course!)...what they meant/mean to you...
2~ Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...
3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...
4~ Favorite Love song...and why?
5~ Favorite Romantic Movie
6~ What is your idea of true love?
7~ Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain
8~ Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?
9~ Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex)
10~ List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you
11~ Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn't love you back?
12~ Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? You worst?
13~ Do you believe in unconditional love?
14~ Recreate your most romantic date (a real one)...
15~ Can you live without a love relationship?
16~ Do you believe in love at first sight?
17~ Do you think young people can fall in love and it be true?
18~ Have you ever been in a love triangle...with you as the object of desire?
19~ What do you love to do the most?
20~ Do you believe in Long Distance/Internet Love? Why or Why not?
21~ What is the most romantic location you would want to visit?
22~ Create the perfect love scene
23~ Do you think love and marriage are synonymous?
24~ Have you broken anyone's heart?
25~ Looking back on your life...who taught you the most about what love is/isn't?
26~ If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age...what would your response be?
27~ Does anyone you've broken up with still love and pursue you?
28~ If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex [guaranteed]...which would you choose?
29~ Write a Love letter to your soul mate (whether you feel you've met them or not)
30~ Did this love challenge teach you anything? If so/not...what/why?

You Have To Hear It

The other day, I wanted to listen to something as I worked, so I went to Blogtalkradio.com and picked a radio show of a young lady that I knew I enjoyed listening to.

She's a very conscious and passionate young woman, who has always appeared to have an old soul to me. You know the type, wise beyond her years. Sometimes I forget that she's not my age, but could in fact, be my child.

Anyway, the particular show I chose, I'd never heard before. It was on Hurricane Katrina. I knew that her family had lived through it, because my Boo and I had bonded over what he told me of part of his experience and I'd heard part of her father's experience, but never heard her speak on it.

By mid broadcast, I was doing my work with tears in my eyes. I mean, you can watch the news and read the paper, but until you hear firsthand, unedited, what people have experienced? You cannot FEEL the heaviness of their experiences and it's hard not to look at them as the living miracles they are.

They've lived all this and they are always smiling. Never complaining. They lost everything...there are people who have everything they could want or need and walk around looking like they suck on lemons all day.

I'd love to share this broadcast with you. Here's the link Hurricane Katrina, We'll never forget by DiamondzzBlingz.

Thanks Blogger

I apologize that I haven't posted anything new...Blogger hasn't let me back into this account since that day.

You have to admit though, Mr. Perez is certainly a beautiful sight to be stuck on, huh?

I think so anyway...

I promise, I'll be back in a few days to attempt to entertain you.

In the meantime, check out the UrbanSoulz channel on Blogtalk radio tonight, where they will have a one on one with the one and only Leela James.

You can log in as a guest from anywhere around the world or you can call in (347) 945-6362 and listen from your phone. You don't have to talk unless you wish to.