Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Monday, June 20, 2011

Day 3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...

My most recent love, I'm still in love with...

He means the world to me. I'll do almost anything for him.

We met online. We had some friends in common and ran in some of the same circles. I'd say we did that without really talking for several months. Then one day a mutual friend, her name was Subira, threw a virtual party. Basically we were a bunch of bored folks who would post pictures of what food we'd bring and who we were dancing with, while listening to the music that people would post in the thread. Man, that damn Yahoo 360 was the business!

Anyway, I "grabbed" him for a slow dance and so began our virtual friendship. Over the next couple of years we'd talk online, but that was it. One day he wanted to call me. We talked and it was cool and I wasn't sure what to think. In the meantime, I began talking to someone else who really told me some negative things about him, so I kind of left it alone.

Over the next couple of years, I really got to know him for myself and I was pleasantly surprised. He was not what I was told at all. In fact, he was and is one of the coolest, smartest, funniest people I know.

At the time we met face to face, neither of us were solo, so there was nothing more than friendship, but later, when were both single, we really started talking. Next thing you know, we were in a relationship.

Not a conventional relationship, but a relationship nonetheless and a long distance one at that.

During the time we were together, I'd have to say that he pushed me past limits I didn't know I could go past. I'd had a previous abusive relationship and had learned to shut down when things didn't go as I thought they should. He wouldn't let me do that. He taught me how to bring things out into the open again, so a resolution could be found.

He was encouraging every way possible and he was patient. I don't know that I've been with anyone so patient. In the past, when things got a bit hectic, I'd subconsciously start sabotaging things and ultimately end the relationship.

He wouldn't let me do that. We might not speak for a few days, but he wouldn't let me quit.

Well, not too long ago I quit. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, to walk away when things are mostly good, but I had to do what I thought was best for me.

I still love him very much. We still talk nearly every day and I'd still do almost anything for him.

I don't know if we'll ever end up back together, but I know that without a doubt, he's always going to be a part of my life in some capacity.

I'd venture to say that with him I had my deepest, most meaningful relationship to date...

So why didn't I write about him in my Day 2 post? Well duh, I was writing about him in Day 3!

1 comment:

Humble BE said...

((((hug)))) You never know what the future holds for you two. And I've done my fair share of sabotaging relationships. I know all about that.