Thoughts on Family

I know I'm in the middle of a challenge, but I have been mulling something in my head for a couple of days now. I'm so big on family and would love to be close to my extended family, but we just aren't. I have tried. We keep in touch for awhile and eventually we drift in to our own worlds. Often I have been the one to step forward in an attempt to be closer. It's no one's fault, it just doesn't happen. I'm sad to say this represents both sides of the family. It's also sad to say that behavior plays a huge part of this solidarity. When people behave in a certain manner, I lose interest in wanting to fraternize with them *shrug*. The real shame in not being close to my dad's side is that they are amazingly strong to me. I don't know that they even realize it. I mean, my grandmother died at 37, leaving my grandfather to raise 6 kids. Well, my dad was 17 and his brother 18, but the 3 girls were still at home. He didn't remarry until his kids were all grown. He lost his baby girl a few years after my grandmother. Fast forward 30 something years and he lost another daughter and now this year a son. They all lost so many immediate family members and yet they are still able to function from day to day... I'm proud that I come from a family with so much strength, I just wish we were closer...

20~ Do you believe in Long Distance/Internet Love? Why or Why not?

I do, but not for too long. I believe that when two people are HONEST about who they are and what they want from a relationship, they can truly connect and fall in love via texts and internet messages. A couple that really wants things to work out, will make arrangements to see each other every so often and if the relationship is to go anywhere, someone will eventually need to relocate. The advantage a long distance/internet relationship has is that you can get to know each other without the distraction of sex. Many people have sex too soon in a relationship and the relationship ends up being based on that. It's not easy, but it can be done if both parties want it enough.

19~ What do you love to do the most?

I love to spend time with family and friends. I wish my extended family was close, but as long as I have my immediate family and close friends, I'm good. I am tracing my family roots, which has proven to be interesting too. I also love to travel. I've had to slow down tremendously since I started dialysis. I mean, I could travel pretty much anywhere in the US and find a treatment center, but I'm not fond of people unfamiliar with me, sticking me and I have been bitten by the international bug, I want to GO places!

18~ Have you ever been in a love triangle...with you as the object of desire?

Well actually... Not too far from this time last year, I was in love with someone who saidd they loved me, but wasn't IN love with me and someone else was IN love with me, who I loved. He didn't want me like that and I didn't want her like that. I'm no longer in contact with either of them.

17~ Do you think young people can fall in love and it be true?

I would say that no, young people don't really know what love is, but then I'd be remiss in acknowledging all the couples that my parents graduated with, that have been together for 40+ years. Especially the ones that started dating in middle school. So, I will say this, it can happen, but it's rare.

16~ Do you believe in love at first sight?

No I don't...I believe that you can fall in love with someone's looks at first sight, but there is no way possible that you can fall in love with someone without having an inkling of who they are. Just my opinion.

15~ Can you live without a love relationship?

Not forever. I have done without an "official" love relationship for a year now, but that doesn't mean I've been without love. In fact, I think I've been given more love in the past year than in a LONG time. The difference is, I think, that it was pure love, real love. I don't want anything in return love. I'm not trying to get the panties love. It is some "I know you did that, but it's ok, people make mistakes, get over it, I know this is hard but you can get through it and I'll be right by you" kind of love. I'm actually 98% sure I'm IN love, the more I ponder the questions of this challenge. Time will tell. And it's not who folks who know me will likely assume it is either... So can I live without a love relationship? No, not one like this. Why would I want to?