Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts...
The randomness that is I

Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012

What a year, what a year! The year started off in the ER. My blood pressure bottomed out at the end of my treatment on 12/31/11 and I ended up bringing the new year in a hospital bed.

Last night, my 44th birthday, after treatment, I ended up in the ER because my knee gave out and I fell. Turns out I have a Patella Dislocation or Subluxation. The patella is another name for the kneecap and dislocation or subluxation is determined by how far the patella moves away from its normal position.

That will be determined by an ortho specialist on Friday. Sooooo, I'm bringing in 2013 with a knee immobilizer. May have to wear it 4-6 weeks.

I have had one of the hardest losses I'll ever experience. The loss of my father. Sometimes I wonder how I've even made it this far. Other times it doesn't seem real. I know I've leaned on my rock HARD. I made a promise to myself not to lean on him so much in 2013. That's a lot of pressure for a person.

I have a hard time finding the spark I used to have. I've accepted that I may never get it back. People change.

I consciously stopped seeking a relationship (it's been a year and six months). I have been able to prioritize some things relationship-wise and I know more what I want and what I don't.

I have had many downs (surgeries) over the past year, but I've learned not to dwell on them and for the life of me, I can only vividly recall one. I thank God for that.

I found a new church home and am active in a ministry that I love.

I was able to see in concert and visit with one of my favorite voices, Phil Perry and traveled to a city I'd never been and knew no one there, in order to do it. (Loved Boston!)Met one of my SiStars (KweenKiwi) for the first time and hung out in Boston Harbor

People have shown me who they were this year and I have believed them. I came to the realization that most people do not have my back, no matter what their words say, but the people who rarely say it have shown me in full force. I pray that the people who I love, know it without a doubt, by my actions, because quite honestly I don't think I could tell them enough times to equal how I feel.

With all the diversity I have faced, I have leaned on God to help me past them and I really feel like I have come out on top and I look forward to overcoming even more in 2013.

I'm kind of envious of those who "got" God early in life. It's taken me this long to really, really see His awesomeness. My earlier life could have been so much easier, but I've learn A LOT of lessons along the way.

Thank you for reading my musings, whether you are a silent reader (say hello or leave a comment some time) or a regular commenter (Thank you Reggie).

I usually end my end of the year post with a reprint of Reason, Season, Lifetime. This year I wanted to do something different. I'm posting this clip from Pastor TD Jakes. It explains different levels of friendship.

1 comment:

Thee_Kween said...

To say that I love that sermon by him is an understatement! It's served me well and I pass it along to others.

It was a joy to meet you and I pray God has more excursions in store for us. It would do you good to come and see the mountains near Peekskill :)

Love you sis...Happy New Year to one of the strongest people I know with one of the most tender hearts.